Turned Inside Out and Scraped Raw

2012 was the year I began truly honouring myself. I allowed myself to come completely undone. As per my usual way of carrying on, I did not let my family know what I was going though.  Always taking the toughest road possible. While I was coming undone I participated in family occasions, had my granddaughters over for sleepovers, arranged a family reunion, welcomed a new grandson, worked on my business (without alot of enthusiasm or insight) and watched alot of TV. TV was my means of escape.   
This undoing was a long time coming. I never felt valued throughout my childhood and this carried on into adulthood. I literally hid for years. Never daring to be the real me.  I was nobody, really.  Just a shell. Believing that I was unworthy of anything good, I clung to unhealthy relationships. 
As I felt the undoing approaching, I made the conscious decision to embrace it and allow it to come. I knew from deep inside me that if I did not embrace this, I would never be able to move forward. So I hunkered down and plunged. It felt to me as though I had been turned inside out and scraped raw. It felt as though it would not end, but again somewhere deep inside me I knew that I would emerge stronger and more alive than I had ever been before.  My acceptance of this undoing allowed me to come from a place of openness. I began to question many things and found answers, so many answers. Alot of my questions were around how I lived in my space and how I could live better, happier. Live in alignment with my values. Harmony and balance. I am now on the back together side of this adventure (I came out intact unlike Humpty Dumpty, who did not fare so well). I learned many things while coming undone. One big change for me is that I am much more open to connecting. I am seeing connecting as my friend rather than something difficult and not fun at all. I have a new energy. I wake up buzzing with excitement for a new day. I tackle problems differently and with the knowing that I have the answer inside me. I honour myself and allow the real me to shine and be seen. I am using my voice. I am honouring myself. Thank you my sweet universe.

As you take two minutes to consider peace for our world today, think about coming undone as the road to wholeness.