What is Mine What is Not Mine

Beautiful  Brilliant  Brutal

Life is such a beautiful teacher. Sometimes it’s gentle; sometimes it’s just right there in my face in a surprising and startling way. 

Last week the universe, my sweet universe, presented me with a situation that sent me reeling. Spiralling Spiralling. Spiraling. I wanted to run away.  

That’s not what I did. Nope. I stayed grounded as best I could by meditating, using somatic strategies, journaling, and walking. 

Which kept me in the here and now. However, there was a niggling feeling that I could not put my finger on.

But, during my meditation this morning, I realized what was going on. I was feeling responsible for someone else’s struggles in life. I had felt guilt, shame and sorrow all at once. It was too much and so heavy.

When I realized why I was still feeling a heaviness after 3 days, I felt such a relief. Freedom. 

I am not responsible for anyone else’s healing.

This was brutal, but I am ready and have the capacity to heal this in myself.

I am sitting in gratitude today.

Thank you my sweet universe!

Favourite Thing Right Now

I currently live in the Caribbean. Warm ocean breezes. Soft sand to sink my toes into. Waves to jump. Magical ocean energy to ground me. Paradise.

We are experiencing a bit of a cold spell, cold being relative, right?  Which means it's time to bring out the hoodies, jeans, socks, blankets,  and yes, my favourite heating pad. Thank you Amazon.  While I have a fan and an air conditioner in my apartment, when it gets cool, I have no way of heating my space. 

But I do have my soft, aqua teal (love the colour; another favourite of mine) heating pad. This exquisite little gadget, comes with a timer and 10 temperature settings. 

I mean, what more could a girl ask for? Picture me snuggled cozily with a blanket and my heating pad.  That's what I'm talking about.

Boundaries

Since my introduction to Somatic Experiencing about a year and a half ago, it’s been beautiful, brilliant and brutal. Yet so necessary.  And so life changing. Capacity is now one of my favourite words. 

What I want to talk about today is how capacity has led me to the wonderful world of boundaries. What are boundaries? Why do I need boundaries? How do I begin to explore and bring boundaries into my life? Tenuous first steps for me were simply saying, “No!”  

Scary and empowering at the same time. And it’s gotten easier the more I say No and realize the sky will not fall. Oh my!  

Now, it’s using my voice to say more than no.  This feels very big right now while at the same time, I know it’s time. Trusting my inner guidance and my sweet universe. We are doing this! 

Stay tuned…

Safe To Be Me

 

Today I sat myself down, looked myself in the eye and said, "It's time to stop the bullshit." Stop second guessing yourself. 

Stop going over what I did, how I conducted myself, berating myself for choices I made an hour ago, or this morning, or five minutes ago. 

I choose in this moment to live freely.

I give myself grace for the choices I make.